7 Ways to be loved by co-workers without compromising your principals.

It’s rare that you can find a group of ten people who actually do all truly like each other, and in an environment where people depend on one another to accomplish tasks and meet deadlines, it’s only natural that there will be some tension, and often some grudges. Most people work with a diverse group of colleagues with different skill sets, backgrounds, values, and interests—and while these differences can collectively make an organization stronger, they can also be a source of conflict.

Want to win over your colleagues? Here are few you could try

1.          LISTENING

Listening is a very important trait a person must possess, people like to speak and when they find someone who could listen to them they start loving them. Listening is the key. It can do miracle, you can make a person fall in love with you by just listening but it’s not as easy as it sounds. If it’s someone’s birthday soon or if they are going shopping at the weekend, just make a note of it. However small the task, go out of your way to ask how it went or simply ask did they have a nice time, people value the smaller things in life and this is one of them. If you don’t listen to anyone not only will you feel cut off from the work environment but eventually everyone will stop talking to you. Pay attention, nothing will make people lose respect for you quicker than if they feel like your focus is always somewhere else when they’re talking to you. Adopt open body language, don’t let other things distract you, and ask validating or clarifying questions to show you’re paying attention. So next time you’re in a conversation, make sure you’re really engaged. Engage and maintain eye contact.

Eye contact is equally important while listening. A lot can be read through eye contact, your eye says it all if the conversation is boring or exciting. When you listen to people, you want to engage them in some way, even if it is only about a small talk. The best way to do this is to make eye contact. Most people do this naturally but some are shy and introverted people have trouble in doing so. A good trick is to make sure you note the colour of a person’s eyes. That always helps you to maintain eye contact.

When to know it’s enough listening: When you’re a good listener, everybody wants to talk to him about their life and stuffs but never compromise on your comfort. Avoid people who will eat up your time and want to keep talking to you always. Avoid people who will fill you up with negativity and office gossips. Just tell them “Excuse me, sorry I got some work to finish up” and if they ask you when your free tell them “Probably next week, this week I got loads to finish. This will let them know you’re not interested.

2. KNOW WHEN, HOW, WHAT AND WITH WHOM TO TALK

 I heard two saying long back, I don't remember who said me this nor do I remember the actual author of this saying but the words was so beautiful that it stuck up with me still this day.

- A expert is someone who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

- Its better to keep your mouth shut and let people wonder if your a fool then to open your mouth and clear all their doubts.

It better to keep our mouth shut sometime then to talk utter nonsense. Its a tragedy when we aren't aware that what we are talking is stupid. Know when you are being stupid. When you have to talk you have to talk, mostly when the topic is of your expertise area. There is another saying which my brother-in-laws narrated to me, which can be very handy at times.

- When you don't know the answer to the question, confuse them.

But you need to be very careful because deceiving is an art not everybody could do it.

Don’t qualify yourself for gossiping or heated arguments just yet, so keep quiet. It is important to voice your opinion if the situation directly applies to you but being the annoying one already is not what you’re aiming for. It is crucial you stand up for yourself but don’t get involved in unnecessary cat fights over trivial things. Just breathe and let it go; being cool and collected under the office stress and pressures is the strategy you need to be able to adhere to.

Chatting with your co-workers is a normal part of office life. Who doesn't like to spend Monday morning chatting about what everyone did over the weekend? Actually, the answer is not everyone.

Keep strong opinions to yourself

If you want to stay in your co-workers good grace learn to be observant enough to notice when a colleague wants to get down to work, rather than rambling your story about what happened at happy hour last night. Learn to read the signs of boredom, is your co-worker nodding silently while reaching for her ear buds? Turning his body back to his computer and away from you? Responding with a tight-lipped “Mmmhmm?” Take the cue and save your stories for another time or colleague. 

3. GET INVOLVED

Get involved in social gatherings outside of work. This can involve going out to eat lunch, going out for happy hour, or celebrating a special occasion with your co-workers. Spending time with your co-workers outside of the office environment will help build stronger bonds and friendships. The bond you build with your colleagues outside your office premises is what brings you closer to your co-workers. 

Getting involved into activities cannot be limited to outside office premises. You can get involved into activities inside office premises. You could join co-workers when they are going out for coffee, sit with them and have fun, be genuine. You can offer someone a ride to their home if your house is on the way of theirs but be sure you don't be an intruder into their privacy. 

When you don't involve with your colleagues, you will be often mistaken to be rude, proud or not on my league type. 

4. DEVELOP SENSE OF HUMOUR

Everyone enjoys someone that has a good sense of humour and is able to laugh at himself.
Make sure you have a sense of humour and can enjoy jokes about other people and about yourself. Don't take things so seriously and try to lighten up a little. This will make you more approachable and more easy to work with but if sense of humour doesn't work, don't keep on telling jokes which no can laugh to.

People want to work with people they like. Why wouldn't they? You spend huge chunks of your waking hours at work, so you don’t want it to be a death march. Humour is a great way to win friends and influence people. You need to be funny, but not snarky (that’s not good for team building) and you can’t offend anyone.”

Jokes lightens the work environment helping people beat stress of work and making the work place fun. Humour is a way to break through the tension barrier. The more approachable you are, especially as a leader, the more honest and open people around you will be and the more honest and open people tend to be, the more successful and innovative teams tend to be.

Maybe this will help you build your sense of humour.  
WikiHow - Improve Your Sense of Humor

5. KEEP YOUR NERVE

If someone criticizes you or pushes you to your limit, you have to be careful about letting your temper take over. Good tricks are counting to ten or walking away without banging the door. Give yourself time to think about it, even sleeping on it. A hasty, angry response can often create a nasty fall-out which will be difficult to repair. 

Stress can always take a toll on your health and on your colleagues temper. One way to benefit from someone anger is to talk to them later asking them if something is hurting you.  People will melt down their emotion before you, when you listen to them without being judgemental. 

6. SMILE, GREET and COMPLIMENT

Smiling is the most obvious signal that you are enjoying your work and the people around you. Smiling can convey a happy emotion; emotions are free and are easy to use. If you never smile the chances are your colleagues probably think that you don’t have a sense of humour, so smile away. This is something I definitely need to work on. Smile is not easy to fake and you cannot always give a genuine smile. 

A beautiful quote I got from the internet:

‘A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.’ – Denis Waitley. 

Being all business all the time won’t make you very well liked. So take the time to ask people about their lives as well! You’d be amazed how good a simple “How are you?” can make someone feel. Greet your colleagues every morning because if you don’t, people will hardly notice you, never mind like you.

Everyone likes a compliment or two. It makes them feel cherished but also gives a seal of approval on how they work. If you genuinely like a person’s outfit, how they handle clients or how quickly they finished a project, say so. This can help colleagues feel valued and appreciated.

7. LOVE and RESPECT

The final and most important way to make your co-workers love and respect you, is to love and respect them too. The funny thing about love and respect is that they are things that are often times reciprocated by human beings. It's a natural behaviour, so exploit it! Love and respect your co-workers and it will come back to you.
  

Extra 7 +1:

OFFICE FLIRTING AND STARING - A BIG NO

Don’t be an office flirt and no it’s not getting you anywhere. You don’t want to be known as the one who chats to all the boys/girls; save this at least for the office night out. You can’t make another first impression so tone it down and adopt the mantra work is for working. If you’re desperate to talk to the opposite sex, meet up after work, but inside those walls is for office talk and office talk alone!

Check this link out, few women’s narrating their office flirting incident as creepy(Click). No matter whether we work in office or heaven, we would always come through good looking girls/boys and it totally appropriate to check them out without causing you and the opposite person any embarrassment and discomfort but don’t get creepy. Remember never ever ever ever stare.